I am not a good writer but I enjoy good literature. That is probably why I don’t have many friends. I first met my MDPC in a public place. He is a great guy, he swept me off my feet and we spend a lot of time together. I have always believed it is best to be yourself. After 12 years I am not sure who I am anymore. I have hit a point in my life where I am not getting any younger. I just want to live my life. Everything I own, currently half of it is still in boxes. I have lived in this house for over 5 years. I don’t own anything of value. If I were to leave I would have nothing.

I am in a transition period of my life. Right now I don’t even have a job. Thanks to the stock market crash I can’t go back to the working world I came from. I have to start over, find something new and start at the bottom.

I have been watching a lot of movies lately. There have been a few that have just got to me. “Sex and the City” (was my favorite TV show), “Definitely Maybe”. Both of these shows hit home for me. I am still in love with MDPC, but he has been stuck in the same place for the last few years. Some how I think that he finds something in our relationship unfulfilling because he still has no desire to get married. Even though he has asked me to 4 times and has never set a date.

So… with this turn of events, I am the one that has to change. Even if it means I won’t be with him anymore. I love him so much that I don’t want to leave. I just don’t know what’s next for me.

I believe in God, he know’s whats best for me. I hope that anyone that may come accross this blog may share experiences that might help heal those with broken hearts.

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